"Running behind a floating bubble, he was looking adorable so we decided to capture the moment but then he hit the table with his tiny toes and he cried his soul out."
Said Arav's mother while showing a funny picture of Arav to all his cousins in which he was crying. He was three then and now he's eight. "OMG, Arav just look at yourself" said his cousins to tease him and then they all laughed. The little boy was bothered by how he looked when he cried.
A few years passed and now Arav is thirteen. He fell down in the playground, injured his knee, and cried in front of everyone. A teacher came and said, "oh are you crying? Come on, brave boys don't cry. Get up and take a break."
Again he experienced the same agony when he was fourteen. "Is he crying? Poor Boy" his classmates muttered, when he got scolded by a teacher. He felt humiliated and rushed to the washroom. He cried while standing in front of a mirror. Looking at himself crying and thinking how unacceptable it is for me to cry, as if it was a sign of weakness, and maybe holding on to your bottled-up emotions is somehow better than letting your tears flow down your cheeks with whatever bothering you at a moment. He heard footsteps, they were his friends. He immediately wiped his tears and washed his face so nobody could tell he was still crying. "Are you alright Arav? Have some water." His friend said. "Yeah, let's go back to class" Arav replied.
Every time when Arav cried, people made him feel vulnerable or told him, "crying isn't something brave people do." and "he looked pathetic crying" like crying isn't a human thing or emotion to be expressed. He continued holding back his sensitive side and turned out to be the way the society expects him to be.
He no longer cries now, at least not in front of people. He might go numb or isolate himself or probably pretend, he doesn't care but never shows his sensitive side.
In his teen years, while watching an emotional movie with his friends, he avoids paying attention so that his eyes can stay dry. He keeps seeing off sessions as short as possible and about a lot more matters he managed to tackle his emotions with a practical aspects in order to avoid getting affected deeply with any of them.
In the end, he became a MAN, you know. Keeping a constant check on his sensitive side, when he still sees people crying their hearts out, he cannot decide who is truly strong and who isn't.
Sunday, 9 August 2020
Not Okay to Cry
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